Why did I decide to change the course of my life?
I was impatient and naive that I let people take advantage of me.
My life has turned up side down and now it is crashing down.
I thought I could find love and hold it, blindly I went for it.
And tried to hold on to someone I thought felt the same.
But only cause myself heartache and pain.
I gave all that I had my mind and body and soul.
For what, only to be told that I was not the one he wanted to hold.
That I was just someone he could control.
Said he was ashamed to be seen with me.
You don’t know what that has done to me.
How stupid am I that I cry and cry.
Cry out why? Why?
Then I am reminded of the choices I had made.
Those choices have changed my life completely.
I have done this to myself.
No one is to blame.
I thought if I ignored the pain.
The pain would go away and things would change.
But I was wrong things have changed.
I do not feel the same.
For what was once love has turned to hate.
And now I must make my escape.
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Cyn McCurry - Regret |
Every day there's something old
to feel sorry about—
what I should have done and didn't,
or what I did, and kept on doing.
I want to believe
everyone's forgotten by now.
Then I picture them thinking back.
And those who've died
and earned the wisdom death allows
just shake their heads and sigh.
"Very funny," my father would say
after my sister and I played
some cruel little joke on him.
"Ha, ha," he'd add,
to let us know he got the point.
We want to forget
until we start to forget.
We want the past to change,
and we want it back.
"Enough is enough,"
my father used to say
to tell us it was over.
Regrets, we all have them. They come from choices we make, mistakes we've made, this we wish we hadn't done. Regret is that feeling of wishing, longing to go back and change what you did, it's that little monster that sinks its claws into you and won't let go; but as the father say's enough is enough. You just need have it be over and let it go, or that little monster will grow fangs and claws and slowly drive you insane with regret and despair. Its part of the point that the author is trying to make, regret will be there, but you have to let it go.
The Past Is Still ThereI've forgotten so much.
What it felt like back then,
what we said to each other.
But sometimes when I'm standing
at the kitchen counter after dinner
and I look out the window at the dark
thinking of nothing,
something swims up.
Tonight this:
your laughing into my mouth
as you were trying
to kiss me.
The other half of the theme that the Mr. Chaon is trying to make, our past is still there, it will always be there. It won't weather with time; it is your shadow, your ever faithful follower. The trick he saying is not to forget it past or live in it, but to learn from it and try not make the same mistakes. That is why this poem is saying, the past is ever present, and still there even if we forget for a time, it will always be there.
